Generator Public

Roast #3366

Tanner Mayes, huh? I heard Tanner's so tan, when he walks into a room, it automatically gets a 'golden hour' filter. I'm not saying you're always sun-kissed, Tanner, but I'm pretty sure your birth certificate is just a faded receipt from a tanning salon. Are you sure you weren't found in a pile of self-tanner wipes? Because that glow is either a sign of excellent skincare or you've accidentally bathed in Capri Sun. Don't worry, Tanner, I'm sure it's just that natural luminescence that comes from spending 23 hours a day under a heat lamp. Or maybe it's just the sheer energy you bring to a room... radiating outwards, like a poorly calibrated disco ball set to 'bronze'. Seriously though, you've got that look that says, 'I've definitely forgotten sunscreen at least once, but I'm going to pretend I didn't.' Keep shining, Tanner, even if it's just reflecting off your impressively bronzed forehead.
Prompt: tanner mayes