Tanner Mayes, huh? I hear you're so tan, your birth certificate is just a sunburnt outline of your parents. And Mayes? More like May-be you should lay off the tanning bed before you start reflecting the light directly into people's eyes during important meetings. Seriously, are you auditioning for a role as a sentient Cheeto? I've seen less orange on a traffic cone. And I'm not saying you *look* like you just emerged from a tanning booth that also doubles as a disco ball, but I *am* saying if you ever go missing, just tell them to look for the guy who spontaneously combusts in direct sunlight.